I am a retired high-school English teacher from Potts Camp, Mississippi. Life in general and my grandchildren in particular inspire me to write. I especially enjoy writing--and reading--rhymed, metered poetry and mourn its near-demise. I get a real charge out of parodying the famous poems I taught my students--while keeping a perfectly straight face and assuring them that studying such noble literature would greatly enhance their lives. I stay busy with a variety of activities at home and church.
What Robert Burns Might Say Today
(composed after reading My Love Is Like a Red Red Rose)
O my TV's had a gray, gray screen
since it blew up last June.
The radio plays no melody.
The piano's out of tune.
Alas! My iPod's ceased to work.
My laptop's gone kaput.
My car just died a violent death,
and now I am on foot.
When HBO plays great, my dears,
when car and gadgets run,
I'll pay thy exorbitant fees, my dears;
then we'll all be having fun.
So fare thee well, my saviors dear.
I'll call thee in a while.
Take care of these, young fix-it men.
They're really worth a pile!
The Mall Is Too Much with Us
(composed while pondering Wordsworth's The World Is Too Much with Us)
The mall is too much with us, spring and fall.
Getting and spending, we lay waste each pay check.
There's little in nature we won't someday wreck.
We've given our hearts away to cholesterol.
Beach beauties bare too much to one and all.
The howling dopeheads raise all kinds of heck.
Pollution worldwide makes me say, "Oh, yecch!"
Hey, wary youth, we'll leave this all to y'all!
I'm moved to yell, "Great God, we're out of tune!"
Given choice, I swear I'd rather be
A lone coyote howling at the moon
Or a jabbering monkey swinging from tree to tree
And sharing branch room with a shrieking loon.
Of earth's abominations these are free.
©2015 Janice Canerdy